Additional Information About Dave
The third instalment of Dave Pelzer's autobiographical trilogy, A Man Named Dave, is an uplifting read for millions of readers who have found inspiration in the author of A Child Called "It" and The Lost Boy. Pelzer's abuse at the hands of his mother, which started when he was four years old and continued until neighbors and teachers were able to step in and put him in foster care at the age of twelve, is the subject of the compelling and horrifying story A Child Called "It". The Lost Boy continues where A Child Called "It" left off, describing Pelzer's experiences in foster care and his struggles adjusting to life in the "normal" world as his mother's real presence and the dark shadows of his abuse hovered over him.
Pelzer tells the story of his life in this episode, starting when he was eighteen and ending when he joined the Air Force. While all three books show the consequences of profound cruelty with a frank immediacy and gut-wrenching, carefully chosen detail, they are -- as the subtitle of this final installment of the trilogy suggests -- ardently inspirational works. Pelzer's work is centered on the themes of forgiveness and the human spirit's capacity to overcome hardship. Pelzer offers evidence that trauma-related emotions and experiences may be transformed into constructive energy.
To ensure that readers unfamiliar with Pelzer's work fully understand the extent of his mother's abuse and his experiences in foster care, he provides precisely the right amount of flashback and summary information. And for readers of his earlier works, A Man Named Dave is a crucial, concluding addition to A Child Called "It" and The Lost Boy.
Pelzer's more recent experiences are detailed in A Man Named Dave, which also gives readers a glimpse into his more developed adult viewpoint as he battles to face and ultimately defeat his own demons. Thus, to read all three pieces in order is to go on a journey from complete darkness to full light.
Pelzer keeps a childhood touchstone memory with him throughout A Man Named Dave, which he ruminates on and retreats to at his most intense times of sorrow. It comes from a time in his early years when, on a family trip to the Russian River, he and his father had a heartfelt conversation alone. For Pelzer, who has a deep affection for the father who mostly watched after or ignored his mother throughout the lengthy time of her abuse, this is an incredibly valuable memory. Pelzer's adult life is motivated by this priceless piece of history; he envisions establishing a home on the Russian River and eventually relocating there with his father.
This is sadly not to be. Pelzer enlists in the Air Force with the goal of becoming a firefighter—a career that his father also had for a period. During this time, he sends his father several letters, to which he receives only a single, partially unreadable letter with no return address. Pelzer worries that his father's drinking and roaming are to blame for his demise. Pelzer goes to be with his father as soon as he finally learns that he is close to death. While his dying father is hardly able to speak, Pelzer is able to address his early years and create a constructive connection to his painful history by spending his last days with his father. Giving his kid his treasured fire department badge is one of his father's last acts.
Pelzer's father's passing forces him to face his mother as well, who while not spending much time with her husband throughout his illness and demise, makes her son feel awkward and alone during the burial. The full-grown Pelzer, an outwardly successful man in an Air Force uniform, must struggle to avoid becoming a craven boy in her presence once again. Pelzer's painful interactions with his mother are interspersed throughout the story.
Pelzer is still ruled by his mother's presence even if she no longer has any official or physical authority over him. The scenes show the nearly epic enormity of Pelzer's eventually successful effort to transcend the legacy of his mother's abuse, as well as the revealing representation of the effects of childhood trauma.
Pelzer's realization that, in spite of the strong feelings that are rising inside him, he must make every effort to neither resent his mother or exact any kind of revenge on her is crucial to this conflict. If he is to "break the cycle" of abuse, he must confront his childhood and its effects on his adult life. It is this triumphal will -- to come to grips with his past and somehow transmute its effects on his character into a positive view of himself and the world he inhabits -- that forces Pelzer to seek out and speak with his mother despite his instinct to run from this past and hide it from others.
In his depiction of himself as a young boy, Pelzer showed how he used indomitable spirit to triumph over tyranny. In A Man Named Dave, he will inspire most readers as he makes his voyage to adulthood and a fulfilling life -- all the while struggling with the legacy of his abuse. This heritage includes issues with intimacy and connection. Pelzer hides much of his past from his first wife, Patsy, and is unable to tell her he loves her. His self-doubt contributes to the tumult of their relationship, essentially a mismatch cemented by the discovery that Patsy is pregnant.
Ultimately, the birth of his son, Stephen, is the final key to Pelzer's reconciliation with his past. Stephen is a constant reminder to Pelzer of the preciousness of life and the imperative of breaking the chain of abuse so that Stephen will grow up knowing abundant love. Pelzer has to learn to love himself in order to be able to love Stephen.
In a touching moment near the book's end, Pelzer walks with his son to the very spot where, as a child, he remembers walking with his own father many years ago and sharing in the natural splendor. The cycle of abuse has been broken, and Pelzer shares his quiet triumph not only with his son but also with his readers.
David S. Rosen