Al Capone Does My Shirts

I relocated to a twelve-acre cement-covered rock surrounded by water and coated with bird turd today. This is not my only child's residence. There's Natalie, my sister, but she's not included. Additionally, twenty-three other children reside on the island due to their fathers, like mine, working as prison guards, cooks, physicians, or electricians. In addition, there are a ton of hit men, con men, stickup men, murders, rapists, embezzlers, con artists, burglars, kidnappers, and perhaps even one or two honest individuals, though I doubt it. Our jail houses the sort of inmates that other prisons do not desire. I had no idea that jails could have preferences, but I suppose they can. It takes being the worst of the worst to go to Alcatraz. Except if you're me. My mother insisted that I come here, so I did.