Rock Bottom Girl

"You're not faking the orgasms, even though you might be faking the relationship."

Marley, 38, sneaks back to her childhood bedroom in the town she was eager to leave twenty years ago after being downsized, destitute, and discarded. Culpepper hasn't changed all that much. The cool kids never go out of style. Currently, all they own are auto dealerships and the McMansions next door. Oh, and she destroyed her senior year's Homecoming, which is still a topic of conversation in the community.

In a desperate attempt to start again, Marley takes a temporary teaching job. Can the girl barred from all future Culpepper High Homecomings stop the most unsuccessful female football team in school history from murdering each other and stop a group of kids who are always on their phones during gym class from developing carpal tunnel syndrome?

Perhaps with the aid of Jake Weston, the attractive decent man who was a bad kid in high school. The tattooed track coach, dog parent, and teacher of the year turns becomes Marley's new pretend lover and alibi—for a fee, anyway—after the school gossip mill sends her to the principal's office to sign an ethics contract. The arrangement is that if she teaches him how to be in a relationship, he will teach her how to coach.

Who knew that a fictitious partner could cause such authentic orgasms? However, it's all fleeting. The man. The work. The group. Too much history exists. Nothing can make a happy ever after foundation out of rock bottom. Could it?

Warning: Story also includes a meet-puke, a bouffanted nemesis, a yard swan and donkey basketball, a teenage-orchestrated makeover, and a fake relationship that gets a little too real between the sheets.