The Vile Village

Kindly, Reader

I'm sure you picked up this book by accident, so put it down. Since every miserable second of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire's time in the hamlet of V.F.D. has been painstakingly and accurately captured in these pages, no sane person would intentionally read this specific book about their life. A novel about migrating birds, an enraged crowd, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some pretty unusual headwear is not anything I can think of that anybody would want to open. While it is my serious and holy task to thoroughly investigate and document every aspect of the Baudelaire children's existence, you could rather engage in some other solemn and sacred activity, like reading a different book.

With the utmost respect,

Citrus Snicket